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  1. #1
    steelfalcon29 is offline
    I AM THE DARK SIDE!!! steelfalcon29's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
    Location
    Baytown TX U.S.A.
    Posts
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    Default Female scoring system

    Female scoring system








    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
    You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
    In the rain (+8)
    But return with Beer (-5)
    You offer to do the wash (+10)
    You use the right detergent (+10)
    You put in her slacks and blouses (+10)
    The slacks are white and the blouses are red (-500)
    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
    It's her pet (-1000)

    SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
    buddy(-2)
    Named Tina (-4)
    Tina is a dancer (-6)
    Tina has silicon implants (-80)

    HER BIRTHDAY
    You take her out to dinner (0)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
    Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
    the colors of your favorite team (-10)

    A NIGHT OUT
    You take her to a movie (+2)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
    Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)

    ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
    You hesitate in responding (-10)
    You reply, "Where?" (-35)
    Any other response (-20)
    [Yes, you lose points no matter what]

    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
    looks like a concerned expression (0)
    You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)

  2. #2
    AmericanMetal is offline
    Gotstang? Regular
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Music City TN USA
    Posts
    309

    Default

    I just saw this - funny! How many points off for printing this out and leaving it where it can be seen?
    IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST, YOU'RE LAST - Ricky Bobby's Dad


  3. #3
    Nicoleb3x3 is offline
    5.0 Swap Girl Nicoleb3x3's Avatar
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    May 2005
    Location
    NH USA
    Posts
    975

    Default

    LOL, this shit is holarious
    ...surprisingly accurate in some ways...lol

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