TOP TWELVE SIGNS YOUR CITY HAS HIRED A DISCOUNT FIREWORKS COMPANY By Dave Tippett

12. P.A. announcer keeps practicing the word "Incoming!!" over and over again

11. Company employees all have Frequent User punch cards from Red Cross

10. Their techs seen with "Light fuse, Get away" reminder tattoos

9. They shoot bottle rockets out of used vuvuzelas

8. You see their reps at local drug store buying up all the burn cream

7. Advertised as world's first "Noise-less Fireworks Show!"

6. Old chimp in sailor uniform with a sparkler pretty much their salute to the troops

5. Local inmates seen assembling aerial rockets in the back

4. They have a guy making "boom!" noises in a mic

3. Their recycled Roman Candles shoot out car wash coupons

2. Aerial display nothing more than guy with confetti and big flashlight pointed at sky

1. Local mortuary is primary sponsor

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Copyright 2010 Dave Tippett (djtipp@aol.com). Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.

today'sTHOT============================

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.