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Thread: Dear Santa

  1. #1
    J is offline
    Blown, Mustang Love J's Avatar
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    Default Dear Santa

    What if Santa answered his mail honestly..


    Dear Santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

    Yer Frend, BiLLy

    Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.

    How about I send you a frigging book called a dictionary so you can learn to read and

    write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

    Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is Peace and Joy

    in the world for everybody!

    Love, Sarah

    Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

    Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I'd like for my Mommy and Daddy

    to get back together. Please see what you can do.

    Love, Teddy

    Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the baby-sitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think

    he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to

    give up that dream. You're getting Legos instead.

    Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I.

    Joe's, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

    Love, Francis

    Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Barbie dream house it is!

    Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer

    outside the back door.

    Love, Susan

    Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs, and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.

    You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

    Santa

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

    Your friend, Thomas

    Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time

    making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail

    waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

    Santa

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    Dear Santa: Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

    Love, Jessica

    Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Santa: I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

    Timmy

    Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're

    getting a sweater.... again!

    Santa

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dearest Santa: We don't have a chimney in our house so how do you get in?

    Love, Marky

    Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky"! That's why you're getting your ass whipped at school.

    Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside

    your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

    Sweet Dreams, Santa


    GSMC#10 (Got Stang? Midnight Crew)
    GSBMC#10 (Got Stang? Black Mustang Crew)

    Quote Originally Posted by EdditGT
    dude you're like the only online friend I have that I actually consider real cuz I've met you, hahaha lol
    and cuz you're a sexy bitch....yeah!

  2. #2
    01FR500 is offline
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