A young man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.
After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any happiness, he started to lose his sanity. One morning, as he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire then throws wet seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship starts to come his way!
He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot shower. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with, then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!"
At this, he starts to get an erection. He slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I lied about the ship!"
(2)
3 men died and went to heaven. St. Peter met them at the heavenly gates and told them they were having a Christmas special. He said if they had something on them that represented Christmas, then they could get into heaven, no questions asked.
The first man reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He said, "This represent candles." St. Peter said, "Fine, come on in."
The second man reached into his pockets and pulled out his keys. He said, "These represent bells." St. Peter said, "Great, come on in."
The third man reached in his pockets and dug deep. Finally, he pulled out a pair of panties. He looked at St. Peter and said, "These are Carol's!"
(3)
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