the fastest thing............

[lxexpress]

Four men were sitting around a conference room table being interviewed
> > > for
> > > a job.
> > >
> > > The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
> > >
> > > The first man replied, "A thought. It pops into your head, there's no
> > > forewarning that it's on the way; it's just there.
> > >
> > > A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
> > >
> > > "That's very good," replied the interviewer.
> > >
> > > "And now you, sir," he asked the second man. "Hmmm, let me see..... a
> > > blink!," said the second man. "It comes and goes and you don't know it
> > > ever
> > > happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of."
> > >
> > > "Excellent!", said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye. That's a very
> > > popular cliché for speed."
> > >
> > > He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well,
> > > out
> > > on my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a
> > > light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the pasture
> > > the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the
> > > fastest thing I can think of."
> > >
> > > The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he
> > > had
> > > found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light.", he said.
> > >
> > > Turning to the fourth man, a Newfoundlander, he posed the same question.
> > >
> > > "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the
> > > fastest
> > > thing known is diarrhoea," said the Newfie.
> > >
> > > "What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
> > >
> > > "Oh, I can explain," said the Newfie, "You see, the other day I wasn't
> > > feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think,
> > > blink,
> > > or turn on the light, I shit my pants."
> > >