lxexpress
01-26-2006, 10:37 PM
> >>> Dear Husband:
> >>>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good
> >>>I've been a good woman to you for seven years and nothing to show for
> >>>it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
> >>>that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
> >>>week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
> >>>nails done,cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
> >>>negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
> >>>bed after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you
> >>>don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love
me
> >>>anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
> >>>
> >>>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
> >>>away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
> >>>
> >>>Your
> >>>EX-Wife
> >>>
> >>>Dear Ex-Wife
> >>>
> >>>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
> >>>It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
> >>>good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much
> >>>to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
> >>>I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first
> >>>thing that came to mind
> >>>was: You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything
> >>>if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
> >>>must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
> >>>pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
> >>>negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was
a
> >>>coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
> >>>that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
> >>>loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered
that
> >>>I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought
> >>>us two tickets to Jamaica.
> >>>But, when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
> >>>guess.
> >>>I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
with
> >>>the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
> >>>
> >>>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Tom, my brother was born
> >>>Tammy. I hope that's not a problem.
> >>>
> >>> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
> >>>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good
> >>>I've been a good woman to you for seven years and nothing to show for
> >>>it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
> >>>that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
> >>>week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
> >>>nails done,cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
> >>>negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
> >>>bed after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you
> >>>don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love
me
> >>>anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
> >>>
> >>>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
> >>>away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
> >>>
> >>>Your
> >>>EX-Wife
> >>>
> >>>Dear Ex-Wife
> >>>
> >>>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
> >>>It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
> >>>good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much
> >>>to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
> >>>I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first
> >>>thing that came to mind
> >>>was: You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything
> >>>if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
> >>>must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
> >>>pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
> >>>negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was
a
> >>>coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
> >>>that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still
> >>>loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered
that
> >>>I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought
> >>>us two tickets to Jamaica.
> >>>But, when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
> >>>guess.
> >>>I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
with
> >>>the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
> >>>
> >>>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Tom, my brother was born
> >>>Tammy. I hope that's not a problem.
> >>>
> >>> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!