lxexpress
01-11-2006, 10:40 PM
Duck Hunting
A lawyer went duck hunting in rural
South Dakota. He shot and dropped a
bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the
other side of a fence. As the lawyer
climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what
he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell
in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and
you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the
best trial attorneys in California and, if you
don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently,
you don't know how we settle disputes in
South Dakota.
We settle small disagreements like this
with the South Dakota Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's that?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute
occurs on my land, first I kick you three times
and then you kick me three times and so on
back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the
proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to
abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the
tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-
toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and
dropped him to his knees. His second kick to
the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours
when the farmer's third kick to his rear end
sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and
managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket,
he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
[I love this part.....]
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
A lawyer went duck hunting in rural
South Dakota. He shot and dropped a
bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the
other side of a fence. As the lawyer
climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what
he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell
in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and
you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the
best trial attorneys in California and, if you
don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently,
you don't know how we settle disputes in
South Dakota.
We settle small disagreements like this
with the South Dakota Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's that?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute
occurs on my land, first I kick you three times
and then you kick me three times and so on
back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the
proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to
abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the
tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-
toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and
dropped him to his knees. His second kick to
the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours
when the farmer's third kick to his rear end
sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and
managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket,
he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
[I love this part.....]
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."