05Classic
12-22-2005, 10:18 AM
Ok so we recently heard a few little know facts about Chuck Norris, but I thought you might also like some facts about MR.T.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T was cast in "Indepdence day" but the Director later reconseidered this decision owing to the fact that no one would believe that it would take Mr. T more than 15 minutes to beat those aliens.
Condoms were not invented because Mr. T's penis needed protection, but because the world needed protection from Mr. T's penis.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr.T pities the fools who don't eat his cereal, as it is the only known source of Vitamin T.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Despite the vast number of fools on earth at any given time, Mr. T has so much spare pity left at the end of every year he crushes it into a ball, sets fire to it and hurls it into space. This is how stars are born.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T was cast in "Indepdence day" but the Director later reconseidered this decision owing to the fact that no one would believe that it would take Mr. T more than 15 minutes to beat those aliens.
Condoms were not invented because Mr. T's penis needed protection, but because the world needed protection from Mr. T's penis.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr.T pities the fools who don't eat his cereal, as it is the only known source of Vitamin T.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Despite the vast number of fools on earth at any given time, Mr. T has so much spare pity left at the end of every year he crushes it into a ball, sets fire to it and hurls it into space. This is how stars are born.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.