lxexpress
12-13-2005, 12:26 AM
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat ? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron !
Are you listening to me ? = Too late, you're dead !
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me ? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about ?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good show on the
TV
How much do you love me ? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice tits
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex ?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now !
May I have this dance ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in
the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person
and maybe then you'll have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat ? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron !
Are you listening to me ? = Too late, you're dead !
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me ? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about ?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good show on the
TV
How much do you love me ? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice tits
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex ?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now !
May I have this dance ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner ? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in
the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person
and maybe then you'll have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay