nhcobra
11-16-2005, 10:34 AM
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket,
not your stub."
______________
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked astock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
______________
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.
_______________
SmartAss Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low BridgeAhead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and hegets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, apolice car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of gas."
______________
>>>>>> AND NOW...FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005
A collegeteacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam."Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not beinghere tomorrow might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personalinjury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, noother excuses.
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student, shakes her head and sweetly says: "Well, I guess you'd
have to write the exam with your other hand."
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket,
not your stub."
______________
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked astock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
______________
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way without a ticket.
_______________
SmartAss Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low BridgeAhead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and hegets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, apolice car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of gas."
______________
>>>>>> AND NOW...FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005
A collegeteacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam."Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not beinghere tomorrow might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personalinjury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, noother excuses.
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student, shakes her head and sweetly says: "Well, I guess you'd
have to write the exam with your other hand."