hrsepwrbrat
07-27-2005, 05:28 PM
Here is a safety message for all you ladies!!
Hair removal:
All methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless
removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax?
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet.
So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and
you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair
comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?
I mean I'm no girly, girl and I am mechanically inclined enough, I can
figure it out.
YA THINK!!!
So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each
other stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
Cold wax my a-- (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward
body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north.
After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of
bikini line, covering the right half of my girle thing and stretching
down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)!
I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....Vision returning, I notice that
I've only managed to pull off half of the strip.
Another deep breath and RRIIPP.
Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums???
OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy! - my wax covered strip
that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it.
Where is the wax???
Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair...The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch. I am touching wax!
I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big
mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet.
I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Girle thing? Sealed shut. Cheeks??
Sealed shut.
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "I hope I don't get the urge to "go potty".
My head may pop off!!
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand, the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
WRONG
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now the only thing worse that having your business glued together is
having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax.
So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter! "So, my butt and girle thing
are stuck to the bottom of the tub!"
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the butt "Are we talking
cheeks or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
the box.
YEAH right!! I could be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I result in scraping the wax off
with a razor.
Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot
wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving
the sticky wax off!!
I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion
they give you to remove the excess wax.
I rub some and scream "IT works!! It works!!
I get a hearty "congratulations" from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
dismay...The hair is still there...all of it. So I shaved the stuff off.
Heck, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine
cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.......
Hair removal:
All methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless
removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax?
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet.
So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and
you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair
comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?
I mean I'm no girly, girl and I am mechanically inclined enough, I can
figure it out.
YA THINK!!!
So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each
other stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
Cold wax my a-- (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward
body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north.
After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of
bikini line, covering the right half of my girle thing and stretching
down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)!
I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....Vision returning, I notice that
I've only managed to pull off half of the strip.
Another deep breath and RRIIPP.
Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums???
OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy! - my wax covered strip
that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it.
Where is the wax???
Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair...The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch. I am touching wax!
I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big
mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet.
I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Girle thing? Sealed shut. Cheeks??
Sealed shut.
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "I hope I don't get the urge to "go potty".
My head may pop off!!
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand, the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
WRONG
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now the only thing worse that having your business glued together is
having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax.
So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter! "So, my butt and girle thing
are stuck to the bottom of the tub!"
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the butt "Are we talking
cheeks or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
the box.
YEAH right!! I could be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I result in scraping the wax off
with a razor.
Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot
wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving
the sticky wax off!!
I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion
they give you to remove the excess wax.
I rub some and scream "IT works!! It works!!
I get a hearty "congratulations" from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
dismay...The hair is still there...all of it. So I shaved the stuff off.
Heck, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine
cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.......