Squid
01-12-2009, 09:04 PM
A LETTER FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY
By Patty Baribeau
As a busy homeschooling mother of 10, I often forget to play tooth fairy at the appropriate times. On such occasions, the attached letter mysteriously appears to explain the Tooth Fairy's delay. The letter usually turns a frown into a gap-toothed grin and the child is encouraged to try again another night.
Dear _________________:
Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of children's lost teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason[s] indicated below:
[ ] it was not a human tooth
[ ] we do not consider pieces of chicken bone amusing
[ ] we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
[ ] the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
[ ] the tooth did not originally belong to you
[ ] the tooth was too fragile to move due to excessive cavities
[ ] the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
[ ] this tooth has been reported missing from the dinosaur exhibit at your local museum
[ ] you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy
[ ] you were age 18 or older at the time your request was received
[ ] OSHA rules prohibit fairies from entering bedrooms labeled “hazardous waste disposal area”
[ ] the tooth was guarded by a vicious, fairy-eating dog
[ ] we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] wire
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] acid
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
Lt. Flossie Fairy
President
Tooth Fairy Union #32
--------------------------
Copyright 2009 Patty Baribeau (patty@cyberspan.net). Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
today'sTHOT============================
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.
By Patty Baribeau
As a busy homeschooling mother of 10, I often forget to play tooth fairy at the appropriate times. On such occasions, the attached letter mysteriously appears to explain the Tooth Fairy's delay. The letter usually turns a frown into a gap-toothed grin and the child is encouraged to try again another night.
Dear _________________:
Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of children's lost teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason[s] indicated below:
[ ] it was not a human tooth
[ ] we do not consider pieces of chicken bone amusing
[ ] we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
[ ] the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
[ ] the tooth did not originally belong to you
[ ] the tooth was too fragile to move due to excessive cavities
[ ] the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
[ ] this tooth has been reported missing from the dinosaur exhibit at your local museum
[ ] you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy
[ ] you were age 18 or older at the time your request was received
[ ] OSHA rules prohibit fairies from entering bedrooms labeled “hazardous waste disposal area”
[ ] the tooth was guarded by a vicious, fairy-eating dog
[ ] we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] wire
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] acid
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
Lt. Flossie Fairy
President
Tooth Fairy Union #32
--------------------------
Copyright 2009 Patty Baribeau (patty@cyberspan.net). Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
today'sTHOT============================
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.