How to impress a woman/man:

[Squid]

How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.

How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.

Read more... (http://www.jokes.com/funny/men-women/how-to-impress-a-woman-man)

Source: Joke of the Day (http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml?rsspartner=unknown)
Clinically proven to elicit at least one smirk daily.