Squid
03-30-2008, 09:46 PM
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Notice to Employees (Includes Temporary and Part Time Staff)
SICKNESS
We will no longer accept your doctors' notes as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having any type of surgery will be FIRED immediately.
PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.
DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.
This new benefit program goes into effect immediately.
The Management
Source: The Joke of the Day from AJokeADay.com (http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteDelDia.asp)
Jokes ajokeaday.com - since 1995, over 4 million people get our politically-correct daily jokes via Email every month. your number one source for Jokes, Humor, entertainment, and jokes via Email. Score big at your next gathering, cocktail or sales appointment with clean daily jokes.
Notice to Employees (Includes Temporary and Part Time Staff)
SICKNESS
We will no longer accept your doctors' notes as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having any type of surgery will be FIRED immediately.
PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.
DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.
This new benefit program goes into effect immediately.
The Management
Source: The Joke of the Day from AJokeADay.com (http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteDelDia.asp)
Jokes ajokeaday.com - since 1995, over 4 million people get our politically-correct daily jokes via Email every month. your number one source for Jokes, Humor, entertainment, and jokes via Email. Score big at your next gathering, cocktail or sales appointment with clean daily jokes.